Our birthing story

We are overjoyed our little Rylan James is finally here! Man its a lot of work but totally worth it! I think it's even harder when your a breast feeding mom, and when you have a big baby boy who wants to eat non stop. I literally get like 15 min breaks in between feedings most days, except when he sleeps. In fact I have learned that I may be a Milk making machine. It will be helpful when the doctor lets us introduce other things like rice cereal to have fill this little guys belly, until then I'm doing my best to keep little man content! One things for sure he is one healthy boy!

So Friday, two days after my due date I started having contractions so Aaron and I went into the hospital. They weren't very strong yet but since they were 3-5 minutes apart and for about a minute long and lasted for 5 hours we thought we should be checked, when we got there, the lady in front of us checking in was clearly in more pain than me so I turned to Aaron and said ohhhh man double crap! 1 because I clearly wasn't there quite yet and 2 I'm going to be in a lot of pain really soon! We just didn't know how much at that point! So we were checked and monitored for a while. I was effaced to 60% but only dilated to 1, but contractions were consistent. They ended up sending us home. We went back again when they kept getting stronger, this time they gave me morphine so I could sleep and they could monitor me. I woke up only to be told nothing had progressed and they were sending us home! I was feeling totally discouraged and exhausted. The following day I didn't have much activity so Aaron and I got out and walked over a mile. The next day I had some pain but not enough consistency, Sunday night they came on strong, I was in labor for sure! The contractions were every 3 mins and the blinding, can't walk, talk only breath through them type. We made the long drive to the hospital and arrived only to get the same results. I couldn't believe they were sending us home and I was scared how much more pain I could handle. We went back 2 more times that day. It was so frustrating they wouldn't keep us, even the nurses were feeling so bad to continue to send us home when it was clear I was in pain, and in labor just not dilated. When we made it back to my moms house I was in so much pain the contractions were coming every 2 mins, I was trying to focus on breathing and trying to sustain as long as I could because I didn't want to go back to the hospital only to have them send me home. I could only take it for an hour before I told Aaron we had to go back, and this time my plan was to beg them to let me stay, when the nurse checked me I was having contractions every 40 secs, and effaced 90% but still only dilated to 2. She said most people would be about to give birth at this point and she felt so bad! She went and called the doctor and came back with the request that I walk around, I was like are you kidding. She said she already knew that wasn't going to be a possibility and told the doctor so. I could see it on her face that they were about to try to send us home again but then my water finally broke! A ticket to stay!! Thank god! I was so relieved they would finally keep us I burst into tears, and the nurse practically did too. I got emitted and got an epidural and was finally relieved of the pain I had for days! After 8 hours of labor the epidural started to wear off and the nurses were becoming concerned because I seemed to have stopped progressing again and was dilated to only 7 for hours, and baby's head was right there. They ended up rushing me in to do a c section. Finally at 5:58pm Rylan was here! weighing 9lbs, 10ozs and was 21 3/4in long! He was beautiful and Aaron and I were ecstatic. We are parents and it was worth ever bit of pain. I'm so glad to be at home now with My wonderful husband and sweet baby. We are slowly but surely adjusting and I know as time goes on things will become easier. We are trying not to forget everything we went through to get him here, and try to really cherish every moment even the poopy, crying not so easy moments!
Thanks for all being so supportive, were looking forward to when we can return into the world again, lol, but for now were at home trying to figure this parenting thing out.
:0)

A Note of thanks :0)

I feel so thankful as we are in the last few days of this pregnancy, well overdue actually. I never thought I would experience this and it has truly been so wonderful. I have loved every kick and movement I have felt within my belly. Even through the harder times, nausea and swelling, aches and pains I have loved being pregnant! All the emotions of knowing Aaron and I are going to be parents and sharing all the fun and sometimes not so fun details with everyone.
Aaron and I were driving home last night and with each mild contraction that rolled in we were struck with this overwhelming gratitude that We get to be parents too!! We never ever thought this would happen and now we are almost there. I can barely see to type through my tears of joy! Just thinking about raising a little person with someone I admire so much makes me feel happier than I ever thought possible! We are also very thankful for all the love and support that has been so easily poured on to us by each of of our friends and family. We love every single one of you and can't wait to share our little man with you. He is already so loved and will no doubt feel that love coming from every direction and that is just the most amazing thing we can give to him! :0)
Since I have been having contractions for over 24 hours now I really think we are finally in the home stretch and will be meeting our beautiful Rylan very soon. It would sure make the most magical mothers day for me, our moms and my grandma if he chooses that day! :0) We shall see.
Thank you to everyone for being there for us!
Thank you for all the prayers and positive energy your sending!
We appreciate every bit of it.

Now we are off and moving... We are going to walk a bunch and dance and get this baby moving in the right direction! We can't wait to meet him
Love you all
Trish and Aaron

The Optimist's creed

This is for each one of you that feels you need inspiratioon today or anyday! We are always in need for words that are kind and good. Feeling our hearts with joy! I know reading this helps me. Have a great day my beautiful friends and family :0)
 I Promise myself.....
To be so strong that nothing can distrub my peace of mind.

To talk health, happiness, and prosperity to every person I meet.

To make all my friends feel like there is something worthwhile in them.

To look at the sunny side of everything and make optimism come true.

To think only the best, to work for only the best, and to expect only the best.

To be just as enthusiastic about success of others as I am about my own.

I also promise myself.....

To forget the mistakes of the past and press on to the greater achievements of the future.

To wear a cheerful expression at all times and give a smile to every living creature I meet.

To give so much time to improving myself that I have no time to critize others.

To be too large for worry, too noble for anger, too strong for fear, and too happy to permit the presence of trouble.

To think well of myself and to proclaim this fact to the world, not in loud words, but in great deeds.

To live in faith that the whole world is on my side, so long as I am true to the best that is in me.

Christian D. Larson (1874-1954)

I feel strength in these words and the will to make it all possible on a daily basis and hope that each one of you find these words have uplifted you too! We are all in charge of our self, and we each hold the power within us to be whatever it is we choose to be! Lets start with Optimism.

11 years!!!!

Even though our anniversary isn't until tomorrow,  everyday is a perfect day for showing your love and saying you care sooooo much. I feel so lucky that I've been able to share the last 11 years with the most incredible man I have ever met! Every single day feels like a blessing and every minute I get to spend with him feels like a dream. I wish we had more time in a day! He is my best friend and my soul mate and my one true love. He continues to make me smile and laugh and somehow manages to make me feel like the most beautiful girl in the whole wide world! Along with that does sweet things all the time for our loved ones, friends, coworkers and everyone he meets. His selflessness is one of a kind. he would give all of himself to make others happy all the while maintaining his own happiness. To me he is the most handsome, kind, smart, loving loyal, funny husband in the world. That is why I treasure every bit of him, tell him continually that he is wonderful and ohhh so loved and make sure every day he is showered with tons of loving kisses. This year is extra special for us as we enter into parenthood. I can't wait to enter into this new phase with someone I admire and trust and love so much! Every year I don't think it's going to be possible, but I do love that sweet hubby of mine even more then EVER! Sharing a relationship with him is one of the best things that has ever happened to me.



Our first photoshoot in 1999 :0)



Our wedding day April 8, 2000 :0)



2010 Always in Love



Us now with Baby Rylan on the way! Anyday now he will make us a trio ;0)

I love you Aaron!!! Happy 11 years together and many more :0)

I hope everyone gets to find a love like this in their lifetime!

Baby update

I decided to change doctors and just saw my new doctor today and she was just so wonderful. She is bubbly and full of information and even though I still waited an hour to see her she made it worth the wait! I'm so glad I went with my instincts to switch, the doctor I had before wasn't bad at all, I just felt our visits lacked something and I couldn't put my finger on it.

 So I was told we are right on track. Our Little man is about 4 pounds now and growing like crazy! I told her he moves non stop and she says well then you must be making him a good Home then :0) That made me smile and even though sometimes the movements he makes now are so big, they're uncomfortable, I still welcome them. I still can't believe we actually have a little miracle happening right now as I type. It is the best feeling in the world to know I will soon be a mommie and as everything grows closer Aaron and I are becoming more and more excited and grateful with every passing day!

We recently had our shower and felt so overwhelmed with the amount of love and gifts given to us for our sweet baby. When we got home we had the best time looking at everything again and I loved reading every card again and the sweet words people had to say. It was such a wonderful day. I wish we could have invited everyone we know, but we already invited around 60 people and the place we rented did have a maximum. lol. :0) This baby doesn't know it yet but he is being showered with so much love coming from everywhere. Its just awesome.

Then last weekend and over the last few days we were able to complete his baby room, and thats where I sit now, feeling inspired and happy and wanting to share this with you. It is soooo cute in here with decals of little safari animals playing sports, his beautiful furniture, the cutest smallest clothes hanging in the closet and adorable homemade blankets made with love from people we adore. It feels real now sitting in the rocker I will use to rock him and feed him. So excited! I feel like it's Christmas with the warm fuzzies you get. :0)



Sweet little room for a sweet little boy



Thanks for reading and sharing in our excitement.

more sweet baby things



Little hutch



Loads of baby love and warmth in our hearts

Mommie and Daddy Robertson to be

Send positive energy out

I feel like all of a sudden there is so much negativity swirling around out there. A friend of mine has even been verbally attacked and even sent death wishes and all for no reason. I have such a hard time understanding where all the negativity comes from and the reason behind it. How could anyone put out so much hate??
Even in my own life, there has been unexpected drama, coming from a place that is even more unexpected. It is so much easier and more fulfilling to send love out into the world. I wish all the people that are so full of negativity and hate as much love as they can hold, they really need this to be sent to them. People that lash out and act poorly towards people need even more love then people that are happy. I truly believe that what you put out you receive back in return. You live life being real, being nice and always having the best in mind for everyone and you will soon realize that people generally share those same feelings back with you.

There are times when you are trying your best to be kind and helpful and still you get pulled into some negative trap. You have the very best intentions but are still being accused of the opposite.
This can be very frustrating and saddening to say the least.
We can't let any negativity pull us down!! We must keep striving for better and moving forward, let Go of all the feelings that hold you back from being the best person you can be! Let them float away and fill yourself up with love and light!
This is all you can do, unfortunately you have no way to change people, You are only in charge of You! You are in charge of how you feel & react.
If you live a positive happy life and project those feelings then you will receive these same feelings back. When you encounter someone that is in such a dark place and you can't reach them, you have to leave them to learn there own lesson and keep sending as much love their way that's possible but try your best not to allow their darkness to enter your heart! Life is not perfect and things can become misinterpreted at times, if this happens try to regain focus and try a different approach.
If it still results in a negative response you may be forced to move on in order to keep your focus where it should remain. When you really believe in something stick to your guns and always stay true to yourself.

I will always have your back and promise to be a shining light in your life.

My saddened and heavy heart already feels better if I know I was able to improve happiness in other peoples life's, and bring a smile to someones face

Letting go of it....

Trishica

Fear and letting go

Fear is a funny thing. I think it keeps us motivated in some ways by pushing us through certain obstacles, but it can also hold you back. Sometimes we do things just to feel that fear, like sky diving or roller coasters. Its like an adrenaline rush and then the feeling you get once you accomplish something you were scared of feels very fulfilling. There are plenty of things I'm afraid of like I love to sing, I mean really love it and most people that I feel comfortable with tell me I'm really good. When it comes to singing in front of a big crowd or even a small one depending who the people are, I tend to freeze up. I have asked myself why is that so many times, or have left knowing I could have done better and really impressed but didn't because I let the fear within me win. It's a battle and I strive to push through it. I want to use fear to do better and not let it hold me back. I'm certainly not saying I'm going to start openly singing in front of large crowds tomorrow, I'm not sure I even want to. What I do want,  is to never hold back when it comes to things that really matter. It's going to be a long road because the reason we feel fear is sometimes deeper then you realize. Did someone hold you back, were they negative in your life and during impressionable times did they discourage you? I'm sure we have all had moments like this in various different times in our lives. Let these things that are not so good leave your heart, learn from all the mistakes you make, and dig deeper within to find the lesson. If you do this then nothing comes with regret because a lesson was learned and that's what we are here to do, learn, grow and give the most of ourselves to ourselves and the ones we love. Next time you will know better and do better and this comes with great reward. I'm here to tell you now that you are wonderful and the potential that you have within yourself is greater then any hurtful words someone may have spoken. It is a hard thing to do to turn away from negative people in your life but sometimes more then necessary. You're not giving up on them they are just in a different space then you and you deserve to feel happy and be around happy people. I've had to do this many times and now everywhere I turn I have nothing but positive energy swirling around me and people that really lift me up and help guide me and in return I hope to do the same for everyone that turns to me. This is a wonderful world full of possibility and anything you set your mind and heart on you can see come to life. I'm so excited I get to be a mom soon and will have the opportunity to really encourage Rylan to live life to the fullest, that everyday is a gift and that we are capable of doing anything as long as your heart and passion are in the right place. So let go of fear within yourself, instead be pushed by love and security. You can achieve anything if you believe you can! I believe you can! This little song is for you to know you are not alone, I will always be here for you and wish you nothing but the best...always.

play me: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=R_zi4OxJpY0

I hope you all have a good weekend! I'm excited about mine, our baby shower is tomorrow! yay!!

Hoping to fill your hearts with happiness as you read all my blog entries,  :0)

Trishica

I didn't have a picture looking fearful so I added this one where I'm smiling at you instead! :0)